What to Do if You Hate Your Voice

I hate my voice.

Have you ever felt like this?

This article will help you view your voice differently.

This Is (Probably) Why You Hate Your Voice

There are of course many reasons why someone might not like hearing their own voice. But one of the most common reasons is that we are simply not used to hearing our voice like other people do.

You know how your voice sounds different in your head compared to when you listen to a recording of yourself? Our brains don’t like that difference. It just feels really off.

The same kind of thing happens when people see photos of themselves. Do you think you look bad in photos but good in the mirror? It’s simply because your brain is used to the mirror image. But on photos, we see ourselves like other people see us, just like we hear what other people hear when we record our voice.

This phenomenon is called voice confrontation by psychologists. You are not alone in experiencing these feelings!

You Might Like Your Voice More Than You Think!

In a small study, participants got to rate how much they liked the sound of different voices. What they weren’t told was that their own voice was among them. And when they rated their own voices, thinking they belonged to someone else, they rated them higher than when they knew it was their own voices!

This is interesting, because it means that we might not actually think our voices are that bad, it’s just that we are so used to hating them and finding faults with ourselves that we automatically don’t like them.

When Your Voice Doesn’t Obey You

Another thing that can make it feel like our voice is our enemy is when it’s not working like it should. Maybe you’re suffering from some kind of vocal injury or illness that affects the voice. Being constantly hoarse or not being able to sing like you want can be very frustrating.

If you suspect there is something medically wrong with your voice, you should always contact an ENT doctor or a speech therapist. If your problem is simply due to a lack of vocal training, a vocal coach can help you work on your technique and balance your muscles.

Some problems can be caused by having an under-developed chest voice or head voice, or not breathing correctly. Within the Singable Toolbox membership, you can get feedback on your singing and suggestions for what exercises from the toolbox you can use to train your voice.

How to Solve the Problem of Hating Your Voice

If you hate the sound of your voice, you may need to work on practicing some self-love. Are there more things you dislike about yourself? Why?

Your voice is a reflection of who you are and is affected by things like gender, age, and your unique anatomy. Why would you hate that? You’re just as worthy and beautiful as everyone else!

The next step is to get used to listening to your voice. Record yourself often, and listen back without judgment. Learning about singing and vocal technique can help a lot, because your voice becomes less of a mystery and you can recognise what is going on and why it sounds a certain way.

A word of warning: don’t try to sound like someone else. You probably listen to some singers and wish you sounded more like them. But trying to manipulate your speaking or singing voice into sounding like someone else will give you new problems, because the muscles involved in phonation (making sound) won’t be working optimally.

What About Training Your Voice to Sound Different?

It is of course possible to train your voice to sound different to a certain extent. If you are a beginner singer and have a very weak chest voice and everything you sing sounds classical, you can train it to become more powerful, for example.

We help singers tweak their voices all the time. BUT it should not be because they hate their voices! If you really hate your own voice, it won’t matter how much you train it, because it’s not actually the voice that is the problem, but your idea of yourself and your self-worth.

For this reason, we encourage all our members to post videos of themselves singing in our Confidence Corner. It’s a safe space where singers can submit videos to receive positive-only feedback from our wonderful community. This has quickly become the most popular feature of the Singable Toolbox membership, because singers cheer each other on in a wonderful way.

We hope you have found this article helpful and that you can start the journey toward liking your voice!